Tips on targets of bullying
If you think you are being bullied, first check:
Is it bullying?
- Are you on the
receiving end of inappropriate behaviours (shouting, swearing, undue or
constant criticism, ridiculing, inappropriate or impossible work targets,
ostracism, exclusion from work or social events, name calling, ganging up,
bad mouthing to others, unwelcome comments of a sexual or racial origin)?
- Have the
behaviours been repeated over a significant period
("significant" might be anything from several times in a single
month, to several or many times over a year or two years)?
- Have you been
personally affected by these repeated behaviours (may include insomnia,
anxiety, dreading work, vomiting before coming to work, loss of
motivation or confidence, depression, physical illness)?
If the answer is no to one or more of these, then it
probably isn't bullying, but may be other work difficulties, such as
stress, overwork, or trouble with doing the job.
If the answer is yes to all three, then it probably is.
If so, then ask:
- Is the
behaviour generally directed, or have I been singled out?
PHOTOS.COM
Is the behaviour generally directed,
or have I been singled out?
If it's bullying, what can I do?
If generally directed - The
person may respond to being approached in a civil manner, and the effect of
their behaviour explained. You may want to take somebody with you, or get a
group of people to make a joint approach.
If targeted - You
are dealing with a more serious kind of bully, and approaching them is
inadvisable because these kinds of bully tend to respond to such approaches
with increased aggression.
Note - Serious
bullies often start off mildly, so you can never be sure that you are not
dealing with a serious bully. The safest course of action, therefore, is to
talk to someone in authority - a manager, someone from human resources,
a senior colleague - and get them to speak to the perpetrator.
Alternatively, get advice from a bullying adviser, or
contact the Andrea Adams Trust (for information and advice as to your
options visit www.andreaadamstrust.org).
Techniques for dealing with aggression
Defuse the aggression by acknowledging what the person
is saying or doing, and moving on to solutions:
- "I can
see you are angry/worried/upset. Is that because...?"
- "You
don't like the way I handled this situation, what would you like me
to do?"
- "You are
unhappy about this, do you have any suggestions as to what I should do
about it?"
Interrupt the other person by saying:
- "I'm
not happy with this; please stop."
- "The way
you are talking is not acceptable to me."
- "I'm
going to leave now. Let's talk about this when you are feeling
calmer."
Anita Houghton, careers counsellor and coach,
Email: anita.houghton@btinternet.com
studentBMJ 2005;13:221-264 June ISSN 0966-6494
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Responses published this month
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Articles
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Responses
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CAREERS
Tips on targets of bullying
Anita Houghton (June 2005)
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Rebecca Elworthy
(June 02, 2005)
Read this response
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CAREERS
Tips on targets of bullying
Anita Houghton (June 2005)
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Rebecca Elworthy
(June 02, 2005)
4th year medical student, Leeds University ugm1re@leeds.ac.uk
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Medical students can get a hard time on placement as unlike nursing students we do not have specific tasks or a role on the wards so are often thought of as 'in the way'. Bullying may be a strong word but my personal experience of sighs and rude comments when walking onto a ward are not pleasant. Some nursing staff in particular do not seem to understand that we are there to learn and are extremely unhelpful in identifying patients we can take histories from. A change in attitude from ward staff wuold make our trainning alot easier and encourage us to spend more time on the wards seeing patients instead of rushing to get out of there!
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