Stuffy wards and putrid pongs
Jamie Wilson has the solution to smelly hospitals
“It's your choice - any free gift you want,” explained the jolly lady at the stethoscope sale. I gleefully rubbed my hands and began deliberating. Somewhere among her hoard of goodies was a hidden jewel all for me - perhaps a solar powered ear thermometer with a multifunction handset. I eagerly burrowed through the discarded bubble wrap. This was proving tricky. It seemed more like a treasure hunt than a gift giveaway. So far I'd waded through several boxes of polystyrene and my search had been fruitless.
“Oh I do apologise. The choice is a bit limited now.” This was obviously the small print. “The pen torches went like hot cakes and you just missed out on the self assembly tendon hammers, but hey - we've plenty of tourniquets left.” I gulped and looked at her like a spoilt, disgruntled child, grumpy and embittered at the woefully inept choice of