“What do you think of my Rolex?” My eyes wanted to roll and my eyebrows wanted to rise, but I tried desperately to stop them. The result was a bizarre grimace and an appointment with an ophthalmologist. This had been going on all the morning. The wristwatch in question had been displayed to almost every patient while the orthopaedic surgeon (you could have guessed) grinned at their reluctant compliments.
Meanwhile, in a lab at the other end of the hospital, a consultant who shall remain nameless (Matt) is doing his party piece again. Sitting calmly at a table, he pauses as the tension builds. It starts with the noise. Not so much a cough as a shout - a huge explosion from the back of the throat. Then he suddenly stands, launching the chair from under him. People desperately grab their mugs of coffee as the table wobbles. He hitches